Every leader will encounter the need to deliver performance feedback to an employee at some point in her career. Some managers choose to ignore the behaviour in the hopes that the employee will correct the performance without the need for a conversation. This is rarely the case. It might seem easier to avoid the issue; after all, giving feedback can be challenging and uncomfortable. However, if left unaddressed chances are the behaviour will continue, and in many cases, even worsen.
If there is a performance issue that isn’t being addressed, there are other consequences that may arise: the leader is sending a message the behaviour is acceptable or others may adopt the same unwanted behaviours. Even more, a culture has now been created where employees don’t believe people are held accountable..
I learned a valuable lesson from one of my leaders early on that giving feedback to an employee is like a gift. Offering feedback is showing you care for your employees. If a leader truly cares about the success of her employee, then she will do what is necessary to offer guidance on how to improve. All humans have blind spots when it comes to how others perceive us, so providing the employee with another perspective to help him grow and develop, will be beneficial for both parties.
To be an effective leader, there are some methods to make those crucial conversations easier and less daunting. Here are some quick tips:
1. Develop a Trusting Relationship
When managers take the time to get to know employees and show they care about them, this is the beginning of building a relationship of trust. This is critically important for the feedback to be well-received. Once trust is established, an employee will be more receptive to your feedback, and will work harder not to disappoint you. Trust is the cornerstone for any leader/follower relationship to be successful.
2. Remain Calm
We all have triggers. It’s important to assess your own emotional state before you embark on a crucial conversation. If you are feeling frustrated or angry it might be best to wait until you’ve had time to calm down. When the situation is emotionally charged there is a risk of the conversation escalating and losing focus. In any leadership situation it’s important to ask yourself why you are experiencing these strong emotional reactions and if the situation really deserves such a response. If you are feeling unsure if you are in a good place to have the discussion, lean on a colleague to run through the conversation and approach in advance.
3. Be Aware of Tone and Body Language
Leaders already have positional power over the employee, so it’s important to scale back on asserting your authority. That can be achieved by using a neutral tone and choosing non-threatening language. Watch out for statements such as “you need to” or “you never”, and instead use “I” statements. Stick to facts and present evidence-based feedback, when possible. Opinions can be expressed only when you acknowledge that you are only presenting your own perspective, and admit that you may be incorrect in your assessment. Your body language needs to reflect that you are relaxed and open to the conversation. Make eye contact and watch for facial expressions that might indicate you are annoyed or frustrated.
4. Be Authentic
The more you communicate authentically and with honesty, the better the conversation will play out. If an employee thinks you are not being truthful, progress is unlikely. This holds true for any interaction you have in the workplace. It’s okay to show weakness and admit when you’re mistaken. Take accountability so others will follow your lead.
5. Ask Questions
An inquiry-based approach is key for the feedback conversation to be conducted from a place of respect. Asking questions instead of making accusations will start the conversation from a less defensive place. Furthermore, when you use questions to learn more about the situation, you are collecting information you can use to support your perspective. It also opens up the possibility that you may have been missing some key information. It’s important to give the employee the benefit of the doubt and give time and space for the employee to communicate his own views on the situation. *You can read more about how to conduct an effective conversation with an employee by reading my previous article on 4 Steps for Leaders to Take When Mistakes Happen.
6. Share the Impact of the Unwanted Behaviour
After the leader has communicated what behaviours have been observed based on facts and evidence, then the leader can talk about how the behaviour has impacted the work, the team, or the organization. This will ensure the employee understands the ‘why’. In many cases, the employee may be unaware that the behaviour is a problem.
7. Get a Commitment, Then Let Go
Near the end of the conversation, try to get a commitment from the employee on how they might be able to change the behaviour in question. This should be something that the employee suggests, rather than the manager. The employee will be more committed to changing the behaviour if they come up with the suggestion.
After the meeting, it’s important that the manager does not continue to bring up the issue repeatedly. Let bygones be bygones. If this is not an ongoing performance issue, let the employee know that you are agreeing to move forward and the issue will not be discussed again unless there is a repeat of the behaviour.
8. Say Thank-You
At the end of the meeting, be sure to thank the employee for the honest conversation. Let them know that you value them as an employee and look forward to continuing to work alongside them.
The truth is that nobody likes to have difficult conversations but if you course correct early, these conversations don’t have to be so overwhelming. Quite often they can be a quick discussion if you don’t avoid them. The more you have these crucial conversations, the easier it will get.
Don't forget to consult with your human resources department if the situation calls for it - they can be a great resource in providing you with support.
And remember ... praise in public and correct in private.